6 things that are under your control to help your child in depression

Just like the stomach, the brain also has its bad days. When the stomach isn’t fed healthy and nutritious meals for a long span, it is bound to get upset. And so, we head to the physician for treatment.  

Similarly, if the brain isn’t fed the right things in the form of self-love and relationships, the brain is bound to react, and that reaction is known as depression. Then, why are we scared to get treated?

We have made depression into a taboo, something whose news should not cross the walls of our home. Parents, whose kids are suffering through depression, are unable to understand its seriousness and take it to be another teenage or high school problem. 

Recent studies have revealed that up to 15% of children and adolescents have shown symptoms of depression. It could be due to peer pressure, family problems, changing hormone levels, studies, social media, and various other factors. It isn’t something the child can easily snap out of or forget after socialising or buying something new. So, as a parent, what can you do to support your child in this tough phase?  This blog might help you.

1. Understand the situation

Most of us feel that a pep talk or a motivational speech will help our child come out of depression. This is a huge misconception and is only bound to make things worse. We understand that as a parent, it is difficult to see your child suffer. However, offering advice, which isn’t asked for will make your child feel unheard.

Try to step into your child’s shoes to understand the situation better. Be a good listener and acknowledge and validate their emotions. Something like, “I can see that you are not feeling well and it must be hard,” is a good way to show your support. 

2. Get them help

The state of depression is overpowering and the child isn’t able to understand his own emotions. Thus, it is important to seek help from a mental health professional. Therapy will help them identify their feelings and most importantly, the root of those feelings. Maybe, something happened when your daughter was 10. She could not make out anything but passively, it did affect her. Therapy will help her deal with those incidents and the impact it had on her.

The help they receive should be on their own terms. You don’t have to force anything on them but be there to understand their situation. Once you have a better understanding, you may be able to find a solution. Matthew Akal from IMBT is a child therapist in London. He uses an integrative mindfulness-based therapy that helps the patient guide themselves towards healing. It is based on accepting their situation and looking at it from all perspectives to reach towards a coherent solution. You can know more about the treatment here.  

3. Be Patient

Depression isn’t easy. It is either feeling nothing or feeling everything at once. The recovery process isn’t going to be quick if the problem is being treated from the root. Thus, it is vital for you to be patient and supportive through the ups and downs. Don’t check in frequently to know how they are feeling - this will make them feel pressurised. Instead, keep a check on their behaviour. 

4. Strengthen your relationship

You can use this time to build a strong relationship with your child. Spend time one-on-one. You can watch movies together, go for a cup of coffee or just hang out at home. The child should not feel obligated to spend time with you. Even if they turn you down, don’t let them believe that you won’t be available. If you have any similar personal experience to share with them, do it. This will help your child not feel like the black sheep. 

5. Learn about depression

Depression isn’t something, which is actively talked about in schools or at home. So, it’s understandable you not having much knowledge about it. This experience will teach you a lot passively. And you can take steps actively and do some research to understand better. Read books, search on the Internet or even learn from the therapist. 

6. Get the help you need

There is no greater suffering for a parent than seeing their child suffer. Watching your child deal with depression but not being able to do anything about it is frustrating. Practise self-love and self-care. Take out time for yourself and do activities that help you feel better, so you can be there for your child. You can see your own therapist, cook, go for a coffee with friends or anything that clears your mind. 

Remember to not feel guilty for your child’s situation. This is the time to support your child and be there in every way possible. Is your child going through depression? Is your child seeking help? Matthew Akal is a child therapist in London and clinical director of IMBT. He has helped various children, teens, and adolescents understand their depression and come out of it through mindfulness.

He aims to discover the healing inside each of his patients and guides them towards wellness and wholeness. The child and adolescent treatment acknowledges the individuality of the patient and offers therapy accordingly. Do you want to know more about IMBT? Visit the website.